


you'll be mine and i'll be yours

by magisterequitum



Category: Psy-Changeling - Nalini Singh
Genre: F/M, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-17
Updated: 2013-09-17
Packaged: 2017-12-26 20:02:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magisterequitum/pseuds/magisterequitum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d kissed her and she’d said thanks in response. A kiss that had opened everything that had been slowly simmering between them as they’d gotten older. An unspoken and unanswered question that she’d thought about as she watched his jaw turn harder, his body taller, his hands more firm as he tugged her to follow on their latest day adventure. A kiss that had been both a question and an answer, and she’d given nothing back.</p><p>And now she’s hiding in her bedroom and counting dots across her ceiling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you'll be mine and i'll be yours

**Author's Note:**

  * For [empressearwig](https://archiveofourown.org/users/empressearwig/gifts), [tosca1390](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tosca1390/gifts).



Ben kisses her for the first time when she is twenty two. 

The party is a mating celebration for one of the maternal wolves in the main den and a submissive wolf in the Oregon border den. It’s a lively affair with everyone in high spirits. Their celebrations no longer hold a note of clingy desperation, as if holding onto the brief moment of happiness before blood and fighting could begin again. Now, things are easier. The fighting that happens now are skirmishes of leftover militants that cannot embrace the now. The Inter-Racial Council takes greats offense to those who would threaten stability and peace. 

As it is, the party is loud and joyous. 

Marlee shares a dance with Toby, letting him spin her around, till he twirls her into familiar arms. Arms she knows because they belong to the wolf who’s been her bestfriend since her family defected to SnowDancer. 

Ben tugs her after him, pulling her away from the celebration and further into the den. No one notices them slipping away, too busy with their own or others. 

“What are you doing?” She asks, her voice a breathy laugh. There’s a flush to her face from dancing and where she’s been flitting from person to person tonight. Sienna likened her to the pack butterfly, always happy to talk to anyone or help in any way. 

He doesn’t answer her, fingers on her wrist, pulling her down a tunnel. 

“What-“ 

She spins into his chest when he stops abruptly, her hands coming to rest against his chest. His mouth cuts off her words, warm hands cupping her face. 

He kisses her there in the tunnel with all the paintings. 

 

-

 

Marlee counts the dots on her ceiling. She’s spread out across the top of her comforter, ankles crossed and knees splayed in casual repose, something her brain is entirely not at the moment. There are fifty-four dots. She knows this because it’s not the first time she’s counted them. Not even the first time tonight, she’s done it previously many times when she needs to think after doing something, but tonight she’s counted the fifty-four blemishes three times already. 

_Twenty-seven_

Her fingers pluck at the stitching on her comforter. It’s pink shot through with lilac. A fluffy thing that keeps her warm. A gift Brenna had picked out for her birthday last year. 

_Thirty_

She’s stalling and unbidden the number slips away from her mind. 

Ben’s face replaces the counting. Eyes widening in disbelief, a shuttered form of confusion and hurt and embarrassment taking over his normally open and joyful features. 

Her fingernails catch on the bedding as she cringes, both internally and externally. 

“Thank you,” she’d said after he kissed her. His hands still cupping her face, a tiny smile at the edges of his mouth. 

He’d kissed her and she’d said thanks in response. A kiss that had opened everything that had been slowly simmering between them as they’d gotten older. An unspoken and unanswered question that she’d thought about as she watched his jaw turn harder, his body taller, his hands more firm as he tugged her to follow on their latest day adventure. A kiss that had been both a question and an answer, and she’d given nothing back.

And now she’s hiding in her bedroom and counting dots across her ceiling. 

 

-

 

In the morning, Marlee rises and looks at herself in her mirror. The reflection shows her a woman who is clear faced with green eyes and strawberry-blonde hair that has darkened to more of a red over the years. There’s a small nick, a thin scar, on the right side of her nose. An accident when she and Toby had been playing with some of the younger wolves in the trees. Neither wolves nor Psy make for good climbers. All in all, the reflection shows a pretty young woman who did not get much sleep last night. 

Something she is certain she deserves. 

She’s angry at herself this morning. How idiotic her reaction had been, no matter the surprise she’d felt. To leave Ben that way and then let him leave without saying anything. 

_Good job, Marlee_

Taking a deep breath, she lifts her chin and exits the bathroom. Jeans and a sweater are easy to pull on, and her hair she just pulls back into an easy bun at the base of her head. There’s no reason to lock the door to her small quarters afterwards, and she turns right in the corridor. Her place is on a separate hall from where her father and Lara still live near the infirmary. It made no difference since she still spent plenty of time with them and Toby and her younger sister. 

The kitchen is her destination. 

Aisha is already there, bustling away at the counters, looking over her papers and recipes for the day. The weather would turn to Fall soon. Time to pull spices and things for cooler weather. Soon the kitchens would be full of the scents that made her cousin so happy. 

“Marlee, dear, you’re up early.” Aisha reaches for her as she comes around the counter to stand next to her. Her hands are dusted with flour as she kisses her cheek. Lara’s mother had instantly been kind to her when her father and Lara had joined together. Though her blood relation was to Marlee’s seven year old sister, Aisha had never treated Marlee less than her own grandchild; there exists no difference amongst wolves, family is family. 

“I have a paper due in a few days.” Which is not entirely a lie. She does, for her advanced degree in musicology. The whole truth is that she’d already started the outline days ago for her progress report. 

Aisha smiles. “So studious. Well, here let me give you a few things to get you going.” 

She hadn’t even had to ask for what she wanted. 

“You’ll sing with Krissy in the program, won’t you?” The older wolf asked as she bundled a few warm pastries into a bag for her. 

Kristina, or Krissy, at seven years old, and with all the authority and brashness of a seven year old, had declared herself a part of the den’s choir like Marlee had once been. The flip side was the shyness of the seven year old meant that she had always had Marlee sing with her. Since then, they’d become a singing duo that drew praises from everyone. 

“She wouldn’t let me not,” she says, a smile on her lips. Not that she’d ever say no to her baby sister. 

“Good.” 

Aisha lets her go with another kiss and fine dusting of flour on her face. 

Walking out of the den, she encounters few people. It’s still early that most are still asleep or those that are needed elsewhere are already on duty. Which is where Ben is. Fully in rotation as a soldier, he keeps watch in the mornings three days out of the week. A posting that he holds with deep pride. She can remember how excited he’d been when Hawke had given him the role. 

The morning is cool, the wind light enough that it turns her cheeks pink after only a few minutes. Her boots crunch across the ground where already some leaves have fallen from the trees. Soon snow will fall. It is only when she’s nearly at his posting that she realizes she’s not prepared anything to say. 

Marlee pauses, her fingers tightening on the bag Aisha had given her. The warmth from the baked goods soaks through and heat her palms. 

“Marlee.” 

She looks up and Ben’s staring at her from a few feet away. She sees then that he must have come down the remaining yards to where she is. He couldn’t have seen her, but he could have smelled or heard her. Ben likes to tell her he can find her anywhere, whenever, that she’d never be lost from him. She believes it. 

“Hey,” she answers. 

He watches her with wary brown eyes, a sense of curiosity and embarrassment still hanging about him. He’s dressed in only jeans and a shirt this morning. The cooler weather is no bother to his warm blood. The wind has tousled his dark hair, made it fall playfully over his forehead. 

“I brought you one of those fruit tarts you like. I thought you might be hungry.” Ben has no love for sweets, unlike other family members she has, but he does like pears and other milder fruits. He likes to sneak them from the kitchens when he can. 

Ben closes the distance between them, his mouth pulling down in a frown. “I’m sorry-“

She shakes her head as he continues on with his apology. Her hair starts to slip from its precarious slapped together bun. It’s all wrong and this isn’t what she’d meant or come here to do. She realizes then she doesn’t want him to apologize. It’s her apology. He’d done nothing wrong and his kiss she’d wanted. It’s only that sometimes he is her friend and she never wants to lose that, but he is hers and she’s as much as his as no one else’s. Since years ago. 

“Ben,” she interrupts. “Please don’t.” He’s in front of her and she stretches up in her boots. His lips are cold against hers. She kisses him quick and hard. 

His eyes are wide and open, and he swallows. There’s only an inch between them, and his freckles are visible this close. “You’re not gonna run away again, are you?” 

Marlee laughs, a soft little noise as she shakes her head again. “No, and I’m so sorry-“ 

His mouth covers hers, the pastries squished between them. Neither mind all that much. 

 

-

 

Marlee eyes the three children before her. 

Ben’s rotation doesn’t end till early afternoon, and she had left him with the promise they would talk later. There’s work she can be doing anyway, she’d told him. Only now she’s been waylaid by her three younger family members who need someone to watch them while Lara fixes broken bones. She’d readily said yes. 

“Did you all wash up?” 

They’d been in the white zone, a spot where pups could easily roam free of external harm. Lara had been going to take them for the afternoon, but the broken arms from the juveniles took precedent. It had been easy enough to collect the three, as they’d all jumped at the chance to spend time with her. 

Three nods. They sit on the low couch in the social area, knobby knees pressed together. They’re not arranged eldest to youngest, something that never happens when the three are together in a group. Instead, on the left sits Declan, face honest and patient, unruly blonde hair the only sign he’d been playing earlier; he has his mother’s hair, but it’s her Uncle Judd’s eyes that tracked everything everywhere. On the right slouches her own little sister: Kristina with a marker stain across her nose, dark eyes and curly hair everything of Lara. And in the middle, at only five years, back straight and mouth tight sits the ringleader: Selina Snow. 

It is to Selina, or ‘Lena, that Marlee keeps her gaze on. 

It mattered little that Selina is the youngest. The loudest and most dominant, she leads, her older cousins at her side. 

“Selina,” Marlee asks, raising an eyebrow. 

She gets small overturned hands. Palms up and indeed they’re cleaned. “See, I clean’d them.” 

It seems that today is a day Selina has chosen to behave. At least for the present. Her little cousin is too spirited for many, but the noise and joy she brought to the den is a welcome by all. 

Marlee reaches out and taps them, a gentle little hit, and then she straightens from where she’d bent over to look at all three. “Alright then, come on. To the kitchen.” 

Six hands eagerly help her with the simple cookie recipe. She even manages to keep them from knocking over the flour when Krissy gets too excited over the walnuts. It’s a victory she’ll take. She leaves them with Lara and the cookies on the cooling rack. 

 

-

 

She meets Ben outside the White Zone. A little spot tucked away not far from the den proper, but one that is off the normal paths. A place they’d discovered as kids. The same one where she’d got the scar on her face from climbing the trees. 

“Hey,” Ben greets her, easy smile already in place, his hands cupping her elbows. She’d put a jacket on this time, but she can feel the heat from his palms anyway. 

Her mouth moves to match his grin, and she bites her lower lip. “I am sorry again-“ 

He squeezes her elbows, shaking his head. “You don’t have to, Marlee. I shouldn’t have just done it like that.” He flushes, a red that spreads across his cheeks and down his throat. 

A dominant wolf, it’s not a surprise to her, but his apology and shame aren’t a surprise either. There’s no secret as to Ben’s dominance status; nor the future that he’d likely hold as leader of the den. That is a thought that has no place here now. She won’t think on it at the moment. It’s done enough to her at times already. 

“I’m glad you did,” she reassures. And she is. She bites her lower lip again and peers up at him. She asks him next something that she’s thought about all afternoon. “Can we not tell anyone?” 

Ben’s eyebrows pinch together. 

“Just yet?” 

There is a possessiveness that curls and twines its way inside her, takes root behind her heart and holds there. It’s not a feeling from dominance or want. It’s a need born from irrational loneliness and a scar that has yet to leave even with over a decade having passed. 

He holds her gaze, his dark eyes solemn for a moment. The wolf watching her, looking and assessing, and maybe he sees what she means or maybe he thinks it best because wolves are nosy social creatures. Regardless, he watches her and then he nods. “As you wish.” 

She exhales a sigh of relief and then makes a noise of outrage when he eats both the cookies she’d taken from her. He kisses her with a cheeky grin before she can lay into him. Her words cut off, she thinks maybe she’ll forgive him this once. 

 

-

 

The den is big and loud and social. Wolves do poorly at being quiet or private. Gossip something that flits from mouth to ear until everyone knew everything. An easy exchange of information that could be the latest dress someone had bought and who it could be for or something more serious like next month’s meeting of the Interspecies Council. 

Marlee remembers too well how quickly everyone had discovered Toby’s relationship with the pretty leopard down at DarkRiver. Ben laughs at the memory until Marlee points out that could easily be them, complete with the harassment and teasing and endless jokes. He doesn’t laugh after that. 

At any rate, it’s not entirely hard to hide their relationship. 

Ben has been her closest friend since her family had defected to the wolf pack. They’d been together ever since, if not in a romantic lover sense, then in endless companionship as comrades. Where one had been, the other usually found at the side. Even when Marlee had taken classes down in Los Angeles, Ben hadn’t been far behind in visiting or her coming back to see everyone. 

No one bats an eye when they spend time together. It’s just the norm. 

It is easy to hide in plain sight. 

 

-

 

Not that they don’t sneak off. 

Easy to hide in plain sight does not extend to kissing and touching in plain sight. That would be surely a way to be caught, and she’s not entirely sure she wants to see her father’s reaction to that. 

Their place in the woods works well enough. 

The leaves on the ground provide a good cushion for her tight covered knees. She kneels in Ben’s lap where he’s got his back against the trunk of a tree, his arms looped around her waist, fingers stroking the warm skin under her jacket and shirt. Her own hands tug at the locks of his hair that curl around the base of his neck. 

Marlee laughs as he presses a sloppy kiss to her chin, teeth nipping slightly there. 

It’s so easy to kiss him. She thinks she’s not sure why they haven’t done this before, but she knows. They’ve been together for so long before and now is right, even if there’s no reason for why he’d picked that night to kiss her. He has called her his since he was young. She likes kissing him. Likes touching him and being touched, a manner entirely that is theirs. She’s had kisses from other boys at the school, and they had been good too, but not like this. Ben is different. He is fumbling and eager to learn her, delighted at the feel of her skin and her presence. It’s intoxicating. 

She feels his teeth against her neck and makes a noise, tugging sharply on his hair. “You can’t mark me.” 

“Shit,” Ben says and pulls back. His eyes roll over with that amber shade of the wolf, and then he gives her a sheepish smile. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” she says and presses closer, kissing him hard on the mouth. The Fall air closes around them and he holds her closer, the leaves crunching under their limbs. 

 

-

 

“Can I bite you here?” Ben asks, finger tapping at where her skirt and top have separated. They’re on her bed, tucked away in the afternoon when neither of them are needed elsewhere either for rotation or Marlee’s duties in the infirmary or with the maternals. His smile creases his cheeks as he looks down at her. 

Marlee props her head up on her bent palm, toe brushing across the top of her comforter. Ben has yet to touch her beneath her skirts or between her legs. Heavy petting at best, and she’s beginning to think he’s after a slow seduction. Sneaky wolf. It makes her skin feel too tight at times, and touching herself can only do so much when it’s longer fingers she wants inside her.

“No one will see,” he murmurs, a teasing curl to his mouth. 

She gives him a lazy pinch with her telekinesis. Laughing when his eyes widen at the sharp pressure on his own hip. “Only if I can bite you back.” 

A low rumble works its way up his throat, a heavy pleased look shuttering his eyes. 

He bends down further from where he’d been kneeling next to her side on the bed, mouth warm against the sliver of exposed skin. “Fair,” he says, and she can feel the corner of his mouth tip up as his tongue touches her. 

The mark is a small bruise of red raised skin. Her fingers brush over it after she showers later and falls asleep with a little smile on her face. 

 

-

 

Marlee isn’t a soldier. She’s never been very good at it. It’s not that she’s not dominant, though she’s not really all that much, and truth be told she’d put herself more as riding the line between either classification that the changelings were so fond of. Soldier duties were disastrous for her. But everyone in the pack did something, had some role, and it had been strangely enough Toby who had found her fit. The infirmary and the kitchens, where Marlee can help out the most. She flits normally from group to group who needs her. She’s even done work in the library, helping with the archives, and even some work in the telecommunications. 

Today she’s in the kitchens. Canning away vegetables to be stored away for the winter. An easy enough job for her as she uses her Tk to seal the jars. 

She uses her Tk also to amuse Selina who sits on the low tabled bench in the middle of the kitchen. The five year old sits demurely, watching in fascination as Marlee peels away the skin of an apple without the aid of a knife. Bright blue eyes never waver from the strip of gold skin that’s curling its way into the child’s lap. The gold matches the ribbon that holds dark red hair away. 

“She likes when you do that.” 

Marlee seals another jar and slides it to the side, accepting a jar full of tomatoes from Sienna on her left. It’s no great extent of her power to divert a small portion to amusing her cousin’s daughter. She gives the girl a quick smile and then seals the aluminum top. “She’s just curious.” 

Sienna makes a small sound of contentment and laughter. A thing that a decade ago would have been reserved for only a few select people. Now, she’s much more open, muscles of her face freer in their showing of emotions. “She is. Entirely too much. It’s enough to keep up with her. Hawke’s no help, he just laughs.” 

They’ve got a system going on. An easy pass between them as Sienna helps her. As Alpha’s wife, and leader herself, Sienna made it a point to engage with all groups of the pack. 

“You’re happy,” Marlee comments. 

And her cousin is. It’s a joy to see her so. No threats looming over her life, and Marlee can remember too much the uncertainty that had crept into Sienna’s life even after Ming had been dealt with. Can remember too the fear that had gripped Sienna when Hawke and she had first found out that she was pregnant. Now, there’s happiness that outweighs most of the darkness that can never be erased on any day. 

Sienna’s smile is slow and white crowds the black of her cardinal eyes. “I am.” She gives Marlee a sly look. “But then so are you. More so lately. Judd told me he caught you singing outside yesterday.” 

To her credit, Marlee’s fingers don’t slow on the tomato jar. There’s no true bite or dig in her cousin’s words. It’s just a passing comment. 

She’s saved from answering when Selina makes an excited noise behind them. 

“Mama, look!” 

The skin of the apple has come completely off now, one long curled ribbon in Selina’s lap. Tiny fingers hold it up to present it proudly to her mother. 

Marlee watches as Sienna presses tomato stained fingers to her daughter’s cheeks, assuring Selina that one day she might be able to do the same. Twin ruby red heads bend together and touch, artificial light from above making their hair shine. 

It’s a lucky save and she breathes a sigh of relief as she watches the mother and daughter. 

 

-

 

Though Toby no longer needs any training from Sascha, she is still his foremost teacher and mentor. As such, he often still visits her down in the DarkRiver lands, and tonight he’s accepted the invitation for dinner with the Hunter family; and also to visit the pretty leopard he’s been seeing for over a year now, but no one mentions that. 

Ben and she join for the ride down. They won’t be joining in for dinner with the Alpha family. Instead, they’ve got a date with a different person who is home visiting his mother. 

Keenan’s dusky skin is even darker, having spent his summer out under the sun across the ocean. His blue-gray eyes light up when he sees them, drawing them both into a hug that makes her back crack. The effect makes him stunning and his giddiness infectious when he invites them into the aerie. He feeds them fresh seafood from the city and he spends the next two hours telling them all about his research. 

She’s missed Keenan. The younger man had immediately been kind to her when Ben had introduced them as kids. Kindness she treasures in all people as a marker of judgment. Her research and studies keep her close enough to the den when she does leave, but Keenan likes to travel. 

Ben is warm and content when they leave after, twining his hand with hers as they walk through the trees. They’ll meet Toby soon enough. For now, they stroll lazily. A pulse fills her veins, as if she can feel Ben’s happiness next to her. 

Marlee’s brow creases in thought at that. Her telepathic skills are minimal and she is no empath. “Ben-“

His hand twists in her, and he moves quick, pivoting and pulling her into him at the same time. The effect is so that he kisses her fast. 

She lets him, sinks into his mouth and the lean form of him. She’ll let him have it now, whatever he wants to keep for the moment. He is here, and that’s enough.

 

-

 

Contrary to any other thought, her Uncle Judd has become something of a chef over the years. She thinks it has to do with how methodical he can be at times. Sometimes he’s far better than her father, though she doesn’t say so to him. Her father is and will always be her father and so important, but Marlee’s abilities mirror her Uncle’s and it’s been him who has taught her how to exist with them; taught her how to be so much freer than he’d ever been. 

She joins them for dinner one evening around their worn in kitchen table. There’s little marks on the legs where Declan had cut his teeth in pup form not too long ago. Her knee catches against a splinter of wood. 

Marlee brushes it aside and spears a red potato, rubbing at her skin. 

She’s more fascinated by watching Declan recount his day in classes to his parents. He’s animated here, in a way that is dissimilar to how the boy is often prone to be more quiet, little hands moving in circles and jabs before him. She watches him talk and watches her Uncle and Aunt listen. She watches the light in her Aunt’s eyes, the little curl of a smile that steals over her Uncle’s face. She watches them listen with patience, never interrupting, but never unwavering. 

Warmth fills her sitting there with them, and want slowly eases the tension of the ache she’s carried for too long. 

 

-

 

The den’s library is quite and nice. Overhead the artificial lighting is a soft glow that doesn’t hurt the eyes. She’s tucked away at a table in the corner, notes and papers spread out on the table before her. With one hand, she turns the digital pages on her tablet, the other she jots small comments down on a hardcopy of her dissertation. 

A warm hand curves around the back of her neck, and she’d jump in surprise except there’s familiarity that sings inside her at the touch. “You smell like lemongrass. Beat level seventy-two yet?” 

Marlee cuts her eyes to Ben, a glare that is tempered by the upward tick of her mouth. “Some of us are busy doing real work,” she sniffs, tossing her chin up. 

Ben grins and quickly looks around the area they’re in. She’s the only one back here. Some of the children tend to get too loud at times, so she always picks back here for the seclusion. He doesn’t kiss her. What he does is nearly worse. Just shifts his hand and caresses the length of her jaw with the pad of his thumb. 

Her eyelids shutter till she’s looking at him with a lazy parted gaze. She swallows and licks her lower lip. She’s hot, a flush creeping over her skin. “You can’t keep this up.” 

His head tilts to the side. A flash of gold across his eyes, the wolf hearing her bait and challenge. “Maybe,” he concedes. A smile. “Maybe not.”

Marlee huffs and looks away from him. Let him play his game. She could play too. 

She sends him away to spend his free time with his sister. Her eyes track the slope of his shoulders as he walks away, her gaze dropping along his form till she notices something where his jacket doesn’t cover his wrist completely. A shift in the leather. She narrows her eyes and yes. There on his wrist is one of the ribbons she still uses in her hair sometimes. 

She feels her cheeks heat up all over again. 

 

-

 

With technology most of Marlee’s work on her dissertation doesn’t require her to actually be at the university in Los Angeles. Classes can be done remotely. She’d have picked a place closer to the Pack, but the best program in the country wasn’t found in San Francisco. The train makes it easy enough to get between the two cities, and she usually just stays the night before coming back. 

The program only has a few others in it, and she’s the only Psy. They delight over her though and find the fact that she wants to study the lost history of music in the Psy race interesting. It makes it fun when she goes to see them and do actual work there. 

There’s a surprise waiting for her when she exits the art building. A surprise in the form of six feet plus of jean clan Ben wearing an olive sweater that offsets his skin and makes his eyes even darker. 

Marlee stumbles on the steps, her sandals bending at the front and catching on the concrete. Her mouth stretches and splits into a smile. She walks towards him, moving forward from her pause and taking note that he’s alone. “What are you doing here?” 

He kisses her despite the book in her hand and the bag at her side, palm curving along her jaw to tip her head up, pulling her towards him till her calves stretch and she’s on her toes. The kiss is slow and deep, a thorough greeting. When he pulls back, it’s to say, “I wanted to see you.’ 

She would make a joke about him not being able to be apart from her, and maybe she should, but he said “want”. A deliberate choice of words. Ben is always so careful with his words. Want. Not need. Need would put a pressure on her she’s not sure should be there; she doesn’t want that. 

Instead, she asks, “How did you get here?” still pressing close to him, unwilling to step back now that she has him here in front of her. Her toes still stretch to make her taller against him. 

He smirks, an easy grin on his face. “I’m actually visiting Keenan.” The lie slips from his mouth and he’s entirely too pleased with this lie he’s put together. He’s practically preening in front of her, chin tilted up, cheeks creased. 

Pushing lightly against his stomach, Marlee laughs. “You’re such a dork.” She kisses him because she can and there’s no one here to see them. “You sure you’re not needed?” 

He shakes his head. “It’s my days off.” 

She thinks and recalls his schedule, finding indeed that his and her times had matched up. She smiles. “How fortuitous.” 

“Are you done here?” He laces their fingers together and peers down at her. 

Marlee arches a brow. “You mean you don’t want to attend a lecture with me?”

He gives her a sheepish look. They’re standing in the middle of the courtyard outside the building. It’s a nice day with sun overhead and a slight breeze. His free hand plays with the open side of her cardigan, knuckles grazing against the curve of her ribs through her dress. “I like when you talk to me about it.” Ben’s educational love was for math, not her studies. 

She drops her glare and laughs. “Don’t worry. I’m done.”

“Good.” He kisses her knuckles. “I wanted to take you out.” 

She thinks of the ribbon that she can feel wrapped around his wrist, and the bite on her hip, and the other tiny countless little moments. _Courting_. Not that she objects at all. She’s just not sure how much more she can take before she combusts. 

How he knows a restaurant to take her to when this is more of her city than his, she’s not certain, but take her out he does. They eat tapas that are too hot for Ben, but not for Marlee; being the babysitter for Mercy and Riley’s kids had come with the perks of being fed by the kids’ mother. Dessert is chocolate with raspberry, fruits that makes Ben giddy across the table. 

His hands go no lower than her waist that night. 

She rides the train back home in equal parts frustration, impatience, and happiness as the memories of the date replaying. Even with having Silence undone at a young age, it’s daunting for her mind to process all of the emotions. She wants though. Selfishly. The want drowns out the tiny voice that sounds too much like a woman that left her so long ago. She likes that. 

 

-

 

As a rule Psy don’t drink. 

It’s not entirely that they cannot handle liquor. That’s a lie. More so it is the fact that a Psy will always first and foremost owe their allegiance to their minds. A Psy’s ability lies completely within their minds, and to lose concentration would be to lose their functionality. In Silence, that had been the ultimate threat. 

Liquor is not as damaging as something much more mind altering as drugs, but it is enough to make a Psy with telepathic or telekinetic abilities a bit off. Free a Psy from the inhibitions and the extra seconds they used for logical thought processing, and well, the result could be interesting. 

As it is, Marlee does not intentionally mean to consume the alcohol. She has no nose for anything, and the punch is not labeled or marked. The sweetness masks anything off about it. She drinks it, drinks another, and then the memory of Los Angeles and the train suddenly become the only thing she can think on.

Twenty minutes later, Ben finds her braiding and rebraiding a section of her hair, sitting on his futon. 

The ends of her hair become less interesting. “Ben,” she says, her voice bright and loud as she lets the hair slip from her fingers. Her eyes track over the width of his shoulders, the sheen of his eyes, and the sweat she can see along his forehead. He’s been outside judging by the tangle of his dark hair. He looks perfect.

“Marlee-“

She can move fast when she wants to, and her heeled sandals make her tall enough to reach for his shoulders. Her mouth fits over his before he can speak any further. She licks at his lips and digs her fingers into the cotton fabric of his long sleeved shirt. The startled noise he makes vibrates from his chest. It pleases her to bring forth that sound, given that he’s been working his slow seduction for weeks, and she presses closer. Her tongue barely touches his before his hands at her hips push her back. 

Blinking, she peers up at him. “What?” 

“Marlee,” Ben ducks down to stare straight into her eyes. 

Her forehead creases in annoyance. “Why’d you stop?”

His nostrils flare, and then he frowns. He bites his lip and narrows his eyes. “Who gave you something to drink?” 

“No one,” Marlee answers, shaking her head at his idiotic question. What even is his problem, she thinks. He’s supposed to be letting her touch him and take his clothes off, not this. Her mouth turns downward. “Do you,” she hesitates, and her mind can’t formulate the correct response she wants. “Do you not want me or something?” 

“Fuck,” he breathes out and his hand spasms on her waist. “Marlee, whatever you drank had alcohol in it. I can smell it on you.” 

It takes her a full forty-seven seconds to realize his words are true. That it explains everything as her being here, an action she wouldn’t have taken at this time of night for fear of them being caught, and not to mention that she’d made her own plan for seduction. 

She can see him already reaching for the console’s panel. She knows too who he’ll page, and damn if she wants Lara asking anything about this. Or her father inquiring into her via telepathy. “No.” 

He pauses. “Are you sure? Are you okay?”

The wolf watches her and something in her pulses with concern, a quick feeling that retreats in a heartbeat. 

“Other than wanting to die from embarrassment. Yeah.” 

Her face flushes a red so deep she can feel it sink down her throat. Further mortification when he refuses to let her leave till her pupils can be seen again. The heat doesn’t fade from her skin until long after she’s under her comforter counting the dots on her ceiling. 

 

-

 

Marlee takes her duties in the White Zone very seriously. She does. Children are to be protected above all. 

She won’t deny though that her rotation today being in the White Zone gives her a perfect hiding place from Ben. Perhaps she shouldn’t be hiding, and perhaps there’s no real reason, but embarrassment sits heavy in her gut and in her mind when she wakes in the morning. The shame isn’t so easy to get rid of no matter what she tells herself. 

Krissy and Selina provide a welcome distraction. Both play in their wolf forms, Selina’s reddish fur, the color replacing the downy young fur, is easier to pick out than Krissy’s pale tan that lets her blend into the foliage. With Sienna busy for the day in her role as Member on the Inter-Racial Council, Marlee had accepted the task of keeping Selina from causing too much trouble. She needs no excuse ever to spend time with her younger sister. 

A yelp causes her to look up from where she’s been trying to read on her datapad. Her palm presses down against the rock, ready to push herself up, but a closer look reveals that it’s only a playful noise. She settles back down. 

Something pricks the hair on the back of her neck, a sense that tells her she’s not alone. It’s not just that she feels someone watching her, but that she _knows_ someone else has joined. She knows the identity too before she even turns around. 

She doesn’t have to turn around. He sits next to her. 

“Marlee,” Ben says and his voice is an entreaty, a worrisome thing that trips over the syllables of her name. 

She says nothing. There’s no one else here, but the pups playing and they’re concerned with one another as Selina rounds Krissy back into the fold of the group. 

He sighs behind her, the exhale stirring her hair so close he’s arranged himself slightly behind her left shoulder. He doesn’t touch her; she’s not sure that’s good or bad. 

A strip of color catches the corner of her eyesight, and she looks down to see he’s draped something across her skirt. Emerald green, a deep glossy shade, and she touches it with one finger. Silk, soft and smooth and impossibly fine. As long as her forearm, the ribbon lies in contrast to the tan fabric of her long skirt. A gift. Twenty two and she still put ribbons in her hair from time to time. Ribbons that her father had woven in with his own hands, a thing that meant far more to her than anyone could understand. Ribbons that Ben had stolen as kids and used to sniff her out when playing. Ribbons that Ben now stole from her to wear around his wrist. 

“I’m sorry if I upset you last night. I didn’t mean to judge or overstep your abilities -“ 

She frowns, winding the green ribbon around her pale fingers. 

“Or to make you think I didn’t-“ 

Her eyes narrow as she realizes just what he thinks happened last night, and she makes a strangled noise of frustration. “Ben,” she interrupts. “I wanted to have sex with you.” 

His mouth shuts with an audible click. “Okay,” he says, voice pitching lower and wary. 

Marlee shifts to the left to look at him for the first time since he’d sat down next to her. She clutches his gift in her hand, feeling the silk start to warm due to her skin. “I wanted to have sex with you. A lot.” She’s being blunt but she thinks directness might just serve better here. “I’m all wound up because you’ve done this seduction plan, and it’s made me unbearably frustrated. Sexually.” 

A little smile flits over his mouth. “Sorry.” 

She rolls her eyes. “No you’re not.” 

He laughs softly. There might not be any adults around, but still, she’s kept her voice low. “Okay, maybe not.” 

She huffs and presses her knee against his. “The point is I’m all wound up and then I just embarrassingly throw myself at you last night.” 

“Oh, Marlee.” He presses his knee back against hers. “I wouldn’t have minded it. You weren’t embarrassing.” 

She can feel her cheeks threatening to heat up again. Again, she’s kissed boys before. Fooled around with the men at the college sometimes. But Ben is different. Ben is Ben. 

“I was worried about you. Not anything else.” 

She nods, fearful of how her voice will sound if she speaks. Sometimes Ben is the dearest thing she has because he had been her first friend, and he’s hers as she is his. She loves him, but there is always the fear that she will wake and he will be gone. “Thank you for my ribbon.” 

His smile takes longer this time, as if he knows her mind had just thought of something else, but even so he doesn’t respond or push it. “I liked the color for you.” He leans closer after a moment, breathe ghosting over her ear. “I wouldn’t mind if you jumped me.” 

 

-

 

 _I wouldn’t mind if you jumped me_ Ben tells her and so she does. 

Not then or that night or even that week. She has to finish a particular portion of her dissertation and Ben has rotational duty in the city. Neither one will let their work slide. But she can plan, and she does. Planning is part of logic and that she’s very good at. 

Her hair she binds up with the ribbon he’d given her, curls held up but tickling the back of her neck. She matches the green silk to green silk underneath her dress. A simple dress that’s easy to slide off, one with thin fabric that probably won’t be able to be worn much anymore since winter is nearly here. Her feet she leaves bare because she’s not going anywhere really. The den operates on a schedule, a carefully worked out plan for every position and detail of where and when someone would be. She knows when people are to be on duty, or when they’re changing positions, and further she knows that the corridor Ben lives in is deserted for exactly ten minutes while shifts change. More than enough time for her to pass through and into his quarters. 

His aren’t very big, but then again neither are hers. The rooms are completely his though with little touches of his parents everywhere. A blanket his mother sewed. Photographs his father took. Touches of him too with an old jersey lying in a corner. 

She sits on his futon and waits. 

Timing precisely as she’s done, she doesn’t have to wait long. The lock on the door depresses and he comes through, dragging a bag against his side. Inwardly, she breathes out a sigh of relief. On time means nothing had happened wrong. 

Ben’s face hasn’t looked up yet, but his nose twitches, scenting the air, and then he does jerk up. The duffel bag is quickly dropped to the floor. “Marlee-“ 

She doesn’t let him finish whatever he wants to say. It’s repeat, redux of the night over a week ago. Only this time she’s in complete control of her mind. The kiss she gives him is open mouthed and needy, and he matches her, lips responding. She breaks away to laugh as his hands grip her thighs and lift her. She kisses his nose and hooks her legs around his hips. “Hello.” 

His eyelids drop till he’s giving her a heavy lidded gaze, the smile on his face slow and lazy. “Hey.” He tilts his head and nips at the right side of her chin. “This is a nice welcome.” 

Marlee strokes the cotton t-shirt that stretches over his shoulders. “You told me to jump you.” 

Ben’s eyes flash gold and it’s the wolf that speaks next. “I did.” 

Their faces are so close that their noses and skin keep bumping together. She slides one hand from his shoulder to tunnel into the dark hair at the base of his neck. She’s not holding on tightly to his hair, but he responds in kind, shifting so he holds her with one arm around her waist, his thigh, and then the freed hand gripping her curled hair. 

“What do you want?” He asks, and he’s _asking her_. A gift when she knows how Ben can be with his wolf. 

His voice has dropped into a deeper baritone and the sound makes her skin feel too tight, her breasts ache. “You,” she says. She just wants him. 

He walks them to the bed and lets her fall as he bends over. Following, he kneels and trails his hands up her bare calves until he reaches the hem of the dress. Eyes on her, he pulls the dress up and she helps, lifting her arms up. “Fuck.” The curse drops from his mouth after he throws the dress away and sees what she’s got on underneath.

Marlee stretches her limbs. She knows how she looks with her light-red hair and green silk and pale skin. She rubs her toes across the back of his calf. “You like? I wanted to match your present.” 

“I do. A lot.” Ben lowers himself to press her into the mattress, settling himself over her. “Let me show you.” 

He shifts and her back arches as he tongues her nipple through the fabric of her bra. “Ben,” she exhales. Her hands grab at his head, gripping his hair. The exhale becomes a cry when he adds teeth and bites. 

“Ssshh,” he hushes her, pulling back to give her a wicked grin, teasing light in his eyes. “You have to be quiet.” 

She narrows her eyes at him but bites her bottom lip, swallowing anything she wants to say. It wouldn’t do to ruin her plans by having someone overhear them or walk in. Noise nearly escapes when he tickles her side deliberately, a quick play of his fingers over her bare ribs. She kicks him with her Tk for that, a jab that knocks the air from his lungs and the smile from his face. 

Ben snorts but returns his attention back to her breasts. This time he presses kisses over the swell where the cup doesn’t cover, featherlight that makes her breath catch in anticipation. He teases her a lot, winds her up with his mouth on her breasts and then her stomach and then between her legs, kissing her through the wet fabric of her panties. All the while with him still wearing his jeans and shirt. He pets her until she’s sweaty and slick, and only then does he strip her and himself bare. Only then does he dip his fingers between her legs and make her finally orgasm, mouthing at her jaw and whispering to her. And only after she’s shaking does he thrust inside her, moving his hips against hers and touching her sensitive clit to bring her off again. 

After, Marlee’s thighs shake and her hair is a sweaty mess with the ribbon stuck to her neck. He soothes her bottom lip that’s swollen and red from her teeth biting it to keep quiet. Her lip feels just as raw her mind and body feel. Split open in the best of ways and she holds him to her, her fingers restless against his back. She cannot talk, her throat won’t work. But she mouths what she wants to say against the sweaty skin of his shoulder. 

His eyes shine brilliant gold when he looks at her. “I love you too.” 

 

-

 

“Krissy is excited for your singing debut.” 

Marlee sits in her father’s workshop. The scent of dust and shavings and the metal are comforting. She likes to sit with him, and she’s neglected him in favor of her work and Ben lately. She cannot be everywhere with everyone, but she tries regardless. 

“She’s chosen about six different songs. I don’t think she can pick out just one.” 

That brings a smile to her face. “I’ll help her tonight.” 

Her father stills in what he’s doing, pausing over the metal machinery. His hair holds more silver in it now, but the countenance of his being is still high and the eyes that crinkle at the corners in love and fondness are the same as they’ve always been. “It’ll be nice to hear you two.” 

She sits until it’s time for dinner and just listens to him work, breathing in the scent of the workshop. 

 

-

 

The Inter-Racial Council had been created after the collapse of the Psy-Net, when restructuring amongst the different races was needed before all collapse and outright war. Fundamentally different from the Psy Council, the Inter-Racial Council governs disputes between the different sects and deals with any problems that threatens the peace. The heads of it came from different areas globally. Three for each race. And they had all been picked by opposing races. For the Psy, they’d picked well, Marlee had always thought. Not merely because her own cousin was a member, but because they’d picked the one who had held the Net together the longest, as well as the gentlest Cardinal one could find. No Changeling had been picked from North America, and Marlee had only ever met the Russian wolf Alpha once. She knew even less about the humans that sat on it. 

The Council tries, but they are not perfect. 

Even before the word reaches through the den, Marlee knows that something has happened. She can feel it inside her. A sharp prick that starts while she is helping Aisha record inventory in the pantries. On her left side, but when she touches her skin through her shirt there’s nothing there. Still the pain and then it grows to a dull steady ache. 

Marlee doesn’t put the pieces together wholly until a juvenile comes to tell them that the rotation in the city had been injured earlier by a sudden attack. She gets it then though, putting it all into place as she walks from the kitchens to the infirmary. She’s known if she’d let the thoughts give voice. She’s heard enough from others how the mating bond can work when formulating. It’s all been there. 

Her hand cradles her side where it hurts and there she can see Ben being treated by Lara. A stab wound, no longer than six inches that cuts through his shirt that’s stained red. She can hear him trying to say that he’d jumped in the way of a child who was a bystander. 

She doesn’t go to him. Her feet won’t move forward. It’s only a knife wound, something that will heal easily with stitches and a few days. Nothing major. But she cannot go. Because if she were to go she would certainly cry and then it would be so obvious. 

Her feet move backwards. 

 

-

 

“Marlee.” 

The warm concerned voice makes her blink. She’s been counting the trees on the edge of the White Zone. There’s sixty-three of them. She looks down to see a tanned hand that swallows up her elbow where it cups her arm. She blinks and looks up to its owner. “Shouldn’t you be taking care of the Pack?” 

Hawke’s pale blue eyes watch her closely, a frown pulling the corners of his lips down. “I am.” 

Part of her should find that comforting. Her cousin’s mate has always been kind to her, but at times he is so much bigger than she can even encompass. “Oh,” she says softly. 

He tilts his head to the side, watching and waiting as he says slowly, “How long have you and Ben been together?” 

She knows what he means. The answer is not since she was brought here. It is, but it isn’t to the wolf before her. “How did you know?” She’s been so careful. But then again, this was the Alpha and Hawke’s as nosy as all wolves, the Pack his entire business. 

“You didn’t go to him. You wouldn’t have done that unless you meant not to.” 

Marlee frowns, trying to decide whether that is true and how he knows that. 

He flashes white teeth at her in a quick grin. “And also Selina told me you and Ben look at each other how ‘her Mama and Daddy’ do.” 

Nosy and troublesome Selina Lauren Snow. She should have known Selina would see them the day she’d been watching the pups in this very same spot. Another thought replaces that and she squares her shoulders. “You can’t take him from me.”

The grin is replaced by the frown again, white-gold eyebrows pinching and brow furrowing. “Marlee-“

“You can’t. I can’t take losing him.” Anyone. To lose anyone. But him, she cannot. Her throat feels tight and her eyes burn, her nose struggling to breathe. 

A snarl flirts with Hawke’s mouth, and he knows the unspoken name that hangs around her still, he knows, but then his face softens. The hand still cupping her elbow pulls her forward until he’s encased her in warm arms. “Oh, sweetheart,” he soothes, and it’s the softest he’s ever sounded to her. 

 

-

 

The infirmary is much quieter now with everyone treated and discharged. She finds Ben on a cot in one of the rooms. She hadn’t thought he’d still be in one of them, but he is. 

“Hey,” he says when he sees her, dark eyes flooded with concern. “You okay?” 

Marlee sees him trying to rise from where he’d been sprawled on his back, and she closes the distance to be at his side. “Shouldn’t I ask you that?” She sneaks a look at his bandaged side. “Why are you still here?”

Ben bites his lower lip in embarrassment, sheepish in his admission of, “Lara says I’ll just pull my stitches if I leave. It’s really okay though. Just a scratch really.” 

It’s not, but she’ll let him have his dignity. She’s knows it’s not fatal, even if the worry in her doesn’t care for the logic of her brain. She runs her fingers down his forearm, circling around his wrist. “Hawke knows about us.” 

Ben’s eyebrows shoot upward, his question not even needing words. She doesn’t keep him waiting. 

“I might have given us away. And Selina might have figured it out and told him.” 

“Your cousin is so much trouble,” he says pouting. He leans his head back to look up at her more fully. Slowly, he asks, “Are you okay with that?” 

“I,” she clears her throat and it’s going to be sore in the morning. She touches the top of his hand, staring at his skin.“I didn’t want him to split us up.” 

He frowns, blinking in confusion and his head slides against the pillow. “Why would he do that?” He blinks again, and grabs for her hand. “Marlee,” he shakes her hand to pull her gaze to him. “Marlee, I’m not Yelene.” 

That name said aloud makes her flinch. A reflexive action that still has not been banished from her life. 

He tightens his grip on her hand till her bones grind together. “I won’t leave you,” his voice is so fierce there in the infirmary room. A promise that shakes her deep. One that he’s made before, but shown her now. 

“I love you,” she says. 

Sensation floods through her then and she doesn’t need to look inside her mind to see the bond that’s coalesced and materialized between them. 

Marlee laughs and then Ben laughs, the room filling with the sound of them both, and the wetness in her eyes is not just from the scar of bitter abandonment this time. 

 

-

 

The Lauren family has grown over the decade plus since they first came to SnowDancer. 

When their schedules all permit, they make it a point to eat dinner together. As it is, they all barely just in Walker and Lara’s family apartment. 

Marlee helps Lara with the salad, cutting the carrots that Krissy likes so much. She doesn’t pay attention to the knock on the door till she hears that it’s Ben asking for her father. The knife she leaves on the cutting board. In the doorway of the kitchen she can see Ben hovering where Brenna had answered the knock. He gives her a small smile, and to his credit does not waver when several pairs of eyes all turn to stare at him and his announcement. 

Her father says nothing for a long moment, pausing where he’d been crouched down helping Krissy with a datapad. Still Ben does not flinch. Finally, he rises and says, “Alright.” 

He gestures to outside the apartment and Ben follows, the door closing with a snap.

Marlee only realizes then that she’s clutching a halfway peeled carrot in her hand. In the background she can hear Sienna berating Hawke for not telling her and bemoaning the betrayal by her own daughter. “He won’t hurt him will he?”

Lara laughs softly and kisses her cheek. “No.” 

She overpeels the carrots anyway. 

 

-

 

It is too cold now to hold the program outside. Thankfully, the den has an auditorium deep near the training rooms. 

Marlee stands on the stage, her sister by her side. Krissy rocks back and forth on her heels, crooked smile and excitement infectious. They both wear dresses of a light blue color, but Marlee has twined the emerald ribbon into her hair. 

“Ready?” she asks, catching Krissy’s hand in her own. 

A curly headed nod. 

She looks up and out into the assembled crowd, scanning and noting her family till she sees dark eyes sitting next to Toby. 

Ben winks at her. 

She smiles and sings.


End file.
